funranium: (Science Diet)
Cross-posted from Funranium Labs

Several days ago, Test Subject & Steinwielder Langford declared that he had created, and I quote, “the new most besterist drink ever with BBotE”.  I suspect he may have been hep’d up on goofballs at the time with that use/abuse of grammar.  His recipe:

  • 1/3 Cup BBotE (yes, slightly unhealthy amount), 1 Cup moo of choice (we made two batches, one with Fat Free and one with Low Fat – Both goodness), 1/4 block of Mexican Hot Chocolate, finely grated (available in your local Mexican market)
    …Bit o’ Mint (fresh or otherwise)
    Ice (small cubes work better)

    Melt Mexican Chocolate into Moo until dissolved. [You can modify this set and use a Mexican Hot Chocolate mix package if you prefer]

    After mixed, pour Choco-moo into blender. Add BBotE and Ice (aprox 1 cup).

    Blend until desired thickness is reached – we preferred a “thick shake” level, but the longer you blend it the thinner the mixture will become.

While this recipe is delicious, I couldn’t help but look at it and note that there is a distinct lack of alcohol.  The idea of a BBotE Mexican hot chocolate was tempting and the brain said that this flavor might be achieved with amaretto and tequila (in this case St. George Spirit’s Agua Azul Cristal “agave spirit”).  I was skeptical of my brain because it has thought things like this before and my tongue has strenuously disagreed.  Also, as long as I was breaking out the labware and going to be mixing anyway, my beloved Filthy Assistant suggested that I try to whip her up something with Drambuie, The Drink That Satisfies (says so on the label and everything).

NOTE: my girlfriend is part hummingbird with a sweet tooth that puts my pre-diagnosis preference for sweets to shame.  Seriously.  I’m off by orders of magnitude with respect to her.


The Recipes w/ Pics, Cut For Size )


funranium: (Boozles)
Hangar One spiced pear vodka + chipotle vodka in 1:1 proportions is weird.

It is cinnamon spicy and then the pepper burn becomes apparent as the cinnamon fades.

Awesome, tasty, but weird.  In the aftermath of Wednesday's experiment, my tongue may not be up for this challenge.

funranium: (Boozles)

He arrived at work this morning with no fresh stitiches or tattoos nor had he spent any time in jail.

It has also been declared that I have ruined him for cheap ass booze.  Someone brought a bottle of Popov (the finest example of bouncy bottle booze if there every was one) and the taste of it mixed in punch, in his words, "Tasted like some scraped my tongue with a razor that had just been pulled out of a rubbing alcohol bottle."  His friend who came with us to the distillery never got as far as tasting the punch and put it down after sniffing her glass.

Two more satisfied customers who now drink for the Epicurean delight rather than to get blitzed.

funranium: (Boozles)
But I just got my minion quite loaded for his 21st birthday before sending him on his merry way to further celebration.

That's right, I have a minion.  Truly, the student is now the master.

On Tuesday he asked me what he should do for his 21st.  I gave an evil smile and he immediately declared that what ever suggestion I had was going to be good.

I grabbed one of my business cards, wrote the following message, and paperclip'd a $10 bill to the back on the back to my favorite Evil Bloody Genius at St. George Spirits:

"It's his 21st birthday.  Attack him, kindly, and leave him in good enough condition for the wenches.  -Phil (the red haired madman)"

Sadly, none of his friends seemed to be interested in driving to a goddamn distillery!!!  What is wrong with college students these days?  I declared this to be unacceptable, took off from work early and took him to St. George for a more than complete tasting.

I set him loose staggering on College Avenue to go get a keg for his party.  I think I have just become part of his college experience.

Moo hoo ha ha.  Minions.

funranium: (Boozles)
I apologize at the outset for not having photographic evidence of what follows.  While we all were [ profile] waltzingmatthea 's dancing monkeys, none of us thought of photodocumentation.  I, being as old as I am, can be forgiven for forgetting this MySpace memory maker oversight.  We lacked, as the man in Fear & Loathing says, "TOTAL COVERAGE!!!"

So, I had two unopened copies of Dance Dance Revolution and a dancepad that had never been used.  When this was pointed out in combination with the Broughton Alcohol Archive, Drunk Drunk Revolution was born.  We chose to do a handicapping feedback style drinking game, where the winner takes a shot theoretically making them less capable in the following round.  This, in my circle of friends, is known as "taking a Kenny".  That requires some explanation from a camping trip to Crater Lake, OR (other information about that trip may be found here)...
The Origin of Kennys )



Dec. 23rd, 2008 08:15 pm
funranium: (Boozles)
I have just created a new alcoholic beverage.  I am tentatively calling it the Alcoholic Lemon Cooler though better names may apply.  The preparation as I did it:

In a half pint glass with four ice cubes.

100mL of Real Lemon lemonade using the recipe on the side of the bottle using C&H raw cane sugar crystals
40mL of Hangar One Buddha's Hand vodka
80mL of Caravallo limoncello
Dash of St. Germain elderflower liquor

Stir vigorously and serve to the woman you love after tasting it to make sure its not poison.

It is left to the student* to complete this preparation.  It should be intuitively obvious**...a trivial exercise even***...

Let me know what you think of it.

*: I apologize to all science majors for writing that.
**: I apologize even more for that.  Couldn't resist.  It might be the 250 mL dewar flask full of Manhattan that made me do it.
***: I can't help myself.  Please stop me before I start reading Mary Boas' "Mathematical Methods of Physics" for more terrible question set phraseology.


Dec. 17th, 2008 07:37 pm
funranium: (Boozles)
The UC Berkeley EH&S Radiation Safety Special Spill Response Team (SSRT) responded to the Faculty Club this evening.

I happy to report that we found them entirely free of radioactive materials and radiation producing machines.  They had some volatile ethanol derivatives which I can reliably report were disposed of safely by the SSRT personnel with nary a drop spilled that could contaminate the environment.

The SSRT is awesome.  I hope to be captain one day.  It is a coveted position.
funranium: (Boozles)
But two Manhattans and an 100mL Ultra 7-Up+ have made me want to find a cobbler.  Not a shoe fixin' dude, but someone to make shoes custom fit for me.  Shoes that will fit my bizzare mutant asymmetrical wide feet.  I want fine boots made for me that are actually comfortable.  If anyone would like to nominate themselves as birthday shoe fairy, I will volunteer my feet for fitting (I'm required to remain attached to my feet in a living condition).  Hell, I'll settle for a reference to someone within a 500 mile radius of Livermore that will actually make shoes from scratch.

Internets...I set you to your task.
funranium: (Boozles)
If, by some miracle, I passed Part I of the Certified Health Physics exam in my bleary eyed state I will be surprised and inclined to consider the possibility of divine intervention.

I discovered a lovely greasy spoon that looks to have been here for half past forever called the Steel City Diner.   I can easily imagine Pinkertons getting tossed out by their ears by enormous Polish waitresses for being no good bums in steel strikes long passed.  I bought the coffee mug I drank from for good measure it pleased me so.  Shame their coffee didn't impart the power to dominate the American Board of Health Physics, but at least it kept me mostly awake. 

The time shift to the east coast screws with me badly.  London and New Zealand don't but this does.  I woke up at the California equivalent to 3:10am for my test this morning.  Not exactly prime hours to dredge for the minutiae of radiation protection.

It is now time to sleep, once housekeeping finishes with my room, and then strong drink courtesy of the Oregon State University Nuclear Engineering Deptartment.  Bless them and the Friend Booze who takes the horror away.

Just for [profile] blark, the Part 1 exam is both nightmarish and overwhelming.  There has been some significant sanity and stamina loss.
funranium: (USAP)
I just picked up the Twin Peaks gold box, which is what dredges the story up from the depths of memory.

Mark the Science Electrician, Patty the Cargo Mistress, and I tried to organize a Lynch-A-Thon over the course of several weekends during the summer.  This didn't work out well since the only day off during the summer is Sunday and people generally decided to devote that to drinking (or the recovery from).  Understandably, it ended up being just the three of us in the Summer Camp Smoking Lounge.

Oh the poor smokers of Pole.  They only had two indoor places to hide and both are gone now.  The new elevated station is decidedly non-smoking.  There had been plans for a smoking lounge but they were changed.  If you want a smoke now, it's out into the wastes for you.

I really can't do justice to the windowless, thick point sharpie marker graffiti'd, place where furniture came to die that this was.  Every time you sat down, you were enveloped in a fog of ash and cigaratte funk.  The only thing you could ever find left in the bar was a bottle of Jack Daniels but there were never any shot glasses.  The profane scribbles on the wall spoke to a heritage of five decades of drunken, surly construction workers and Navy enlisted men.  Once upon a time, it had been the Last Chance Saloon, its facade somehow constructed from crates.  Truly, it was heaven second only to Club 90 South.  I long to be seated behind the bar there with my feet propped up on the cooler still....

A little after 3am, after the the last of my victims passed out or staggered home, I packed away my portable bar and the three of us went over to the smoking lounge to watch the pilot of Twin Peaks which had just arrived in the mail for Mark.  He had shipped his complete VHS set to himself two months before leaving for Pole, making a total transit time of four months before it came off the plane in Antarctica.  After finishing the pilot, I dug into my portable bar and brought out the bottle of Hapsburg absinthe that had been smuggled to me from New Zealand by the pilots.  I figured that the green fairy was the only way to cope with Senor Lynch after nearly a decade without watching the show.  Mark and Patty agreed. 

After a glass each, we figured what the hell, we can watch the next two and it'll be time for breakfast.

After four episodes, and a few more glasses, we decided that alcohol metabolized to sugar just like all other food which meant, basically, that we were having breakfast already.  (I do not claim that this was good reasoning)

Eventually, we had watched it all including 'Fire Walk With Me', had drank an entire bottle of absinthe between the three of us, and hadn't eaten in 24 hours nor slept in 48.  We were, understandably, a little bit loopy when we finally emerged into the never-ending daylight glare of Antarctic summer.  When I turned around to look back at he entrance of the smoking lounge, door still open, it seemed an inviting gateway to infinite darkness.

That was when we decided to rename it The Black Lodge.  Shame they tore it town 4 years ago.  Probably still in trash boxes waiting to be shipped out.
funranium: (Science Diet)
Nothing greets a three day weekend quite like a Three Rums & Coke and a Concerning Dr. Pervert.

I'm feeling much better now.
funranium: (Boozles)
I went to the St. George Distillery's release party for their second batch of absinthe, which they made on my birthday last year.  See here for photo documentation.

I just feel it necessary to show the new booze and a sampling of the new Scientific Drinking (TM) apparati now gracing my kitchen.  Behold!

The 2L separatory funnel (in the background behind the three bottles of absinthe) puts any conventional cocktail shaker to shame.  I invite you to seek [profile] elonwy_h and [profile] wookieluvin for testimonials about this fully operational glassware battlestation's effect on unsuspecting livers.

Also, a close up of the label for you:

Finally, all alcohol is improved by consuming it from an Erlenmeyer flask; I have them available in sizes from 20mL to 4L.  50mL of absinthe, 20mL are already gone.

Happy Friday.
funranium: (Boozles)
What Awaits You On November 2nd, lucky attendees who imbibe...

A steady stream of science is the only diet worth having.  Sometimes it is good to be the child of a former pet store owner.  This sign was once in my window when I was at UCSC.  I was politely asked to take it down by the Kresge College staff.  Stupid being a physicist at womyn's studies and creative writing emphasis Kresge...
funranium: (Boozles)
Once upon a time, there was a nuclear reactor in England that was air cooled like a '60s Volkswagen Beetle.  It worked about as well as the average 60s Beetle too.  It was called Windscale and its fuel and graphite moderator caught on fire.  Who'd have thunk it, that graphite being pure carbon would burn...amazing!  After this happened, England was told to not drink milk for a good long while.  In order to get vital calcium and vitamins to children a "delicious", "healthy" drink called Ribena was created.  People still drink it today for some reason.  I find it only slightly less palatable than Manishevitz.  A couple of days ago, they finally demolished the reactor, long since renamed Sellafield to help with the public relations problems.

But, in celebration of the demolition, I came up with a drink and consumed it so that YOU DON'T HAVE TO, just like the [personal profile] benchilada eats the collective culinary errors of Asia.  Much like Jesus died for your sins, I created two variants of a drink I call "The Windscale" and drank it for you.  I recommend consuming neither of them.

Windscale Reactor One:
    Equal parts Ribena and gin
    Stir, chill, and serve.

VERDICT = Revolting

Windscale Reactor Two:
    Two parts Ribena
    One part green chartreuse (for that concerning plutonium solution look)
    Shake in a tumbler with ice and serve.

VERDICT = Stomping on a week old body probably makes liquids this color...possibly this flavor.

I was not willing to waste precious absinthe to create a Windscale Reactor Three after the results of the previous two.  The remaining Ribena has gone down the drain.
funranium: (Boozles)
Today I was asked to mix work with pleasure.

In late January, the Health Physics Society mid-year meeting will be happening in Oakland.  For many folks, this is their unofficial vacation so there is usually a variety of social events associated with the conference.  As a member of the Northern California chapter, it occured to some of the other folks that I might know some interesting things to do.

I am in the process of setting up a tasting and distillery tour at St. George on a day that they are normally closed to the public, probably either followed or preceeded by a wander around the USS Hornet.  I will be able to open this up to other people as well if you can stand a passle of inebriated nuclear engineers and radiation protection people.

When I have more details I will pass them along.  It will probably happen around 2pm on a Tuesday, which is not helpful for most people's schedules.

As the organizer, my attendance is mandatory.  Shucks.  Damn.  Darn.
funranium: (USAP)
For the northern hemisphere, it is Midsummer's Eve.  Break out the maypole and frolick thusly.

To the denizens of the South Pole, this is Midwinter.  Every day from here on out is one closer to daybreak...which is still three months away...and a flight out.  There is still more darkness yet to go, more booze yet to drink, a further depravity left to sink into, but at least the goal is within sight.

Raise a glass to the Frozen Chosen walking the downward spiral of Toast.  Truly, Polies are mutants not meant for mass production.

December 2012

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