funranium: (Pyscho)
funranium ([personal profile] funranium) wrote2008-06-25 12:30 pm

Some Corporate Adages I've Lived By

And I would really, really like to be disproved one day.  So far that day has not come in 15 years.  As safety professional, I have more often than not found that my adversary in the pursuit of safety is not recalcitrant workers, but HR departments.

"HR is not here to help or give you more money.  They exist to protect the company and its money from you."

"There is no loyalty, no trust, no goodwill between an employee and an institution that cannot be destroyed by HR if they are given the opportunity."

"The term 'Human Resources' puts people in the same category as lumber, water, oil, and gold.  Note that the term related to the usage of non-human resources is 'exploit'.  This does not bode well for your treatment."

"It is 'Human Relations', not 'Humane Relations'.  Most of the world is not the better for a relationship with humanity."

Also, the new name of the Lab's HR department, now that Bechtel has come to town, is Strategic Human Capital.  Meditate upon that.

[identity profile] punning-pundit.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't even get me started on your HR department. Your CHRO? Flaming bitch...

[identity profile] funranium.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. Yes she is. But she can't speak in public worth a crap. She has trouble lying, especially when speaking to people who know she is lying. This is extremely detrimental an HR professional.

Luckily, she has many people below her who do it with great facility and have no problem dehumanizing their human resources.

[identity profile] zardra.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
My old job changed the HR dept into the People dept, which I thought was hilarious every time I heard reference to the "VP of People".