The Black Resume

[funranium]

graymalkn reminded me of a term I came up with (perhaps unwittingly borrowed) when lamenting the vast amount of things I know how to do, skills that definitely contribute to my being a useful worker and provide keen insights into the human condition, that I would never list on my resume/CV.  Things that invariably come up later when explaining how you know something.

For example: bartending, amateur rocketry, nitroglycerin/explosives manufacture, encyclopaedic knowledge of "unpleasant history"

I have to admit, when I start writing it up I am more impressed by my black resume than my real one.  How about you?  What's yours look like?

Comments

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

Well, the whole nude modeling thing doesn't typically make it onto my CV. I was told by a prof in school that I should put alpaca-rider on, but never did. I enjoy skinning, though I'm not sure I count as expert in it or anything. I dunno... not much of a black CV I guess.

[evil-egg.livejournal.com]

My CV consists entirely of one word: "Bum". It's as accurate a description as I can muster.

I'm old, that's why.

[spurious-logic.livejournal.com]

Bartender, Commercial driver (doubles, tankers, fuel, flatbed, box, refer, crane, dump, lowboy), electrician, carpenter, roofer, lumberjack, beekeeper, rancher, actor, nude model, stage manager, courier, parade coordinator, forklift driver, mechanic, AutoCadd draftsman, guard, plumber, musician, Foley artist, mover, earthmoving equipment operator, FAA/DOT hazmat tech, movie grip, and working on web design.

yeah, I lied about the modeling thing.

[pure-doxyk.livejournal.com]

OMG, I totally know what you mean. Kungfu, for starters. Philosophy. Scifi. Chainmail. Making sleep my bitch. Devising new and horrible puns. Bullshit-detecting and writing sex scenes, though not necessarily simultaneously.

Basically everything I love, goes on the Black Resume. ;)

[graymalkn.livejournal.com]

Lockpicking, fencing, building things, knowledge of cons and slight of hand. Oh, and paint forging.