Talking About Highways

Someone, graymalkn, poked the bear in the nose with a stick.  It prompted this reply from me.  I share it with the rest of you.

Let us take a classic example of California transit: "I am going to take the 5 down to LA."

"5" exists in an ambivalent state due to the question of what implied noun the person from Southern California is referring to.  The question, and thus the argument, rest upon whether you are referring to the freeway itself or the route you are taking on it.

If it is the former, "5" is a descriptor of nouns "highway" or "interstate".  In this respect, the article would apply to the nouns which you aren't using.  On the East Coast, this is best depicted by the classic phrase "You head down the turnpike." 

In the latter, I can only assume the painful nature of driving in Southern California is manifesting in its language as people plan tortuous routes to avoid traffic, ethnic enclaves, and Yugo swallowing potholes.  Here, "the 5" refers to the full experience of speeding dodging semis and their meth addicted drivers, keeping a vigilant eye for the cruel CHP, and the hypnotic monotony of the Central Valley.

A single number has been allowed to accept so much loaded content that people forced to cope with these horrors regularly feel the need to add "the" to numbers.

In Northern California, we chose a different method for expressing our experience of vehicular horror as shown in this sentence: "I'm driving up fucking 101 because there's a wreck on goddamn 880 again.  You know I hate fucking bridges."  Expletives take the place of articles in this case.  Since there is such a variety to chose from, it doesn't seem as monotonous as a regular "the".

I now realize that people from Southern California aren't just ignorant drug whacked crazies putting extra the's in sentences just because they need to add a little extra time to remember what road they were talking about.  Rather, in one word, they are trying to convey the awfulness of the Wasteland.  They have my pity.