The Only Thing I Hate Almost As Much As Group Projects...

[funranium]

...are All Hands meetings.

There is nothing more fun than a one hour meeting that runs a half hour over where no useful information is conveyed despite actual insightful, searching questions from the audience.  I was shocked that some of my co-workers were capable of such thinking.  It was very much a meeting because management felt it necessary to Say Something, except that everything anyone wanted to know they couldn't say.

I have also gotten a stern finger waggling whilst sniggering by my manager for creating a new term that is spreading through the Laboratory like curium-244 contamination.  Story commences:

On Tuesday, I went to go visit a former co-worker that now works in the Department That Doesn't Get Out Much Because They're Too Busy Thinking Terrorist Thoughts.  She asked how things were going out in the Lab at large.  After due consideration I described it as, "Ohgodohgodwe'reallgonnadietheskyisfallingit'scoldoutsideilostmypantsandthere'sabearthatwantstoeatme!!!"

She blinked a few times and then she began laughing in way that I felt justified in grabbing the spill clean up kit, which only made her laugh more.

This morning I was shocked to hear someone else describe a situation as "No Pants-Bear" bad.

I win but it is taking a modicum of booze to take the edge of this all hands meeting that just finishedf.

Comments

[punning-pundit.livejournal.com]

Twice a year, we have to go to DC for an all-Sales-Department meeting. About 1000 of us descend upon DC for several days.

Days worth of meetings during which we talk about how well we did and how much better we're going to do-- even if it's all lies. Kinda pointless, expensive, and a waste of time...

[auroracita.livejournal.com]

*laughs so hard she hiccups*

"No Pants-Bear" bad. I'm totally explaining things in my lab like that tomorrow.

"How's those tumors coming on those mice?" "No pants-bear bad." "What?" "Um...project no worky, we no getty no more granty-wanty. No pants-bear."

[evil-egg.livejournal.com]

No-Pants bears? Oh god, they're the very worst kind!

know what you mean

[(Anonymous)]

We recently had an all-hands meeting, where instead of giving us the news we were expecting, they gave us different news, and told us the news we were expecting would come later throught the use of everyones favorite term ... "efficiency". Now that was a fun meeting.

Greg.

[zardra.livejournal.com]

Wish you had come up with this back in 2005. Could have used it to describe the situation at my work then. We had nothing to describe the surprise 9 am all hands meetings to announce that the CEO, CFO, and Legal Counsel have all been forced to resign by the board.

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

I would adopt this, but it is going to be lost on my Japanese co-workers.