My Contribution To "So You Don't Have To" Science

[funranium]

Several friends and I have been experimenting with the concept of the Luther Burger for a month or so now.  I have decided to make my contribution to the body of knowledge accumulated thus far.

This is dedicated to Mr. Benjamin sTone who, because our Internet Monkey King loves us, does so many things So We Don't Have To.  You'll always be my Fly Girl, benchilada .

Disclaimer: I had to perform all my own photography and stunts without the assistance of a Lovely Wife Sara (LWS).  I do not have a LWS.  In fact I waited until robyngoodfelloe  was out of the house so she wouldn't stop me.  As it is, the pictorial evidence of what I've done is limiting my smooch availability.  Ah, what I do for science.

Apparatus:
Now, you might be asking yourself "Why is there a Weinerschnitzel chili cheese dog sitting next to a chocolate glazed custard filled bar?"



Preparation:

Place paper beneath the preparation surface to catch chili and custard that goes astray.  In fact, its not a bad idea to put down plastic Gallagher-style prior to consumption.

Using an Unnecessarily Large Knife (following the sTone Method) make a ventral incision on the bar at the custard orifice.  Continue cutting until the bar can be opened like a hot dog bun.

Iteration 1:


Then, with great care, place the chili cheese dog gently into the exposed custard.

Iteration 2:


Proceeding with all due caution, commence to consuming. 

Results:


No, that isn't spooge glistening on my right cheek.  It's custard.

Discussion:
Flavor wasn't actually bad, just very confusing.  A bite of chili cheese custard chocolate bar dog activates the entire suite of taste buds.  The aftertastes kept coming one after another but they were all good flavors, just not in such quick succession.  If flavor could have a strobe effect, this was it.

It left me feeling unclean, like there was a fine layer of greasy grime over my entire body.  In actuality, this effect only encompassed my hands and face.  About 15 minutes later my joints started hurting for some reason but that could just be the Weinerschnitzel Magic.

Other Side Effects: Hurra Torpedo's version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and the name Thucydides, but pronounced Thuck-a-diddies, repeated in my head endlessly.

Conclusion:
I will not repeat this particular experiment.  Several senile diaper wearing months from the end of my life have been lost to this meal.  The end of my life is also probably sooner too.

Comments

[rick-day.livejournal.com]

oh my you are a redhead.

No wonder you posts make me all moist.

You inspire me. I shall create something almost as brilliant!

[funranium.livejournal.com]

Careful now. Isn't one dodgy internal organ enough fer ya?

[theliznach.livejournal.com]

Dear God. That poor Araina.

[funranium.livejournal.com]

I'm expecting tomorrow to be...emotional.

[veni-vidi-lusi.livejournal.com]

You know what would have made it better? Bacon.

[funranium.livejournal.com]

Damn. I had the bacon salt on the counter next to it and didn't think to add any.

Esteemed colleague, I welcome you to contribute to the glorious body of knowledge!

[veni-vidi-lusi.livejournal.com]

Oh you don't want to do that, I used to spend my days up to my elbows in internal organs and splattered humanoid. There is almost nothing my stomach cannot take.

[veni-vidi-lusi.livejournal.com]

Custard topped beer battered fish, with chips and bacon. smothered in cheese.

[ratswallow.livejournal.com]

Well done!
I see you and raise you the Deep fried battered Spam I had for dinner tonight.

I also recommend the Bacon Cinnamon Roll...
Take a Pilsbury's Grand Cinnamon roll and unroll it.
place a strip of bacon on the inside edge and re-roll it.
Repeat on the rest of the package.
Bake until done.
Consume & enjoy.
Listen to your arteries harden.

[eight-blocks.livejournal.com]

Thank-you. I am doing this, this weekend.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

I call.

[funranium.livejournal.com]

I have anectodal report that durian flavored crackers are awful enough the people and birds in a leper colony (well, former leper colony) won't eat them.

Also, someone thought the flavor of durian was worth putting in crackers. This person seeks the end of sanity and civilization.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

Agreements are provided.

[locopuff.livejournal.com]

I can't stop laughing at your facial expression.

I also can't imagine how disgusting that must have been O_o

[funranium.livejournal.com]

Not disgusting, just weird-good. I describe the effect as Flavor Strobe. My tongue didn't know what to do.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

Thank you, good sir.

I'M SURE THAT IN THE MISERABLE ANNALS OF THE EARTH YOU WILL BE DULY ENSHRINED.

Also, you've kinda done a prelude to my next project...

You shall be rewarded with stuff or things.

[funranium.livejournal.com]

Yay stuff! I am also fond of things.

I am suitably terrified of whatever a chili cheese dog chocolate glazed custard filled bar could possibly be a prelude to. I fear gastric distress.

[chuckdawg.livejournal.com]

I think it's his miserable anals that might have cried out in horror the next day.

[funranium.livejournal.com]

Actually, all's quiet on the Southern Front.

It's remarkable really. The results jelly donut chili cheeseburger damn near killed the poor Portagee test subject the following day of his contibution to SYDHT Science.

[blark.livejournal.com]

Somehow I missed this when first posted. I...lost my appetite once the ingredients were revealed.

I think you've crossed the line from self-love to self-abuse.

Also, a challenge!

[blark.livejournal.com]

Brain thought of this for your next self-abuse challenge:

1 cheesey corndog (stick removed)
onion rings around said corndog until covered
entire contraption placed inside custard or jelly filled donut

option: wrap onionringcorndog in bacon first.

Yes, have at.